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I’ve always been a fan of the late country singer Jerry Jeff Walker.  He sings a

song (written by Billy Jim Baker .. a professional rodeo Clown –  in the Clown Hall of Fame by the way) called “Contrary to Ordinary.”  Most people haven’t heard the song … nor do they know who Jerry Jeff was – but nonetheless it is a good tune.

In the song there is a line “You live life in episodes.”  I think that is really a great statement.  Because as we bang around life there are segments.  This latest football (mis)adventure in Switzerland is no different.  Just another (mis)adventure or an episode.

Building a new franchise (Helvetic Guards) to compete in the European League of Football is certainly a challenging “episode.”  But, with all challenges there are going to be good times and some … well, not so good times.

So, as we work through the end of the year we have a really good handle on the roster.  We’ve lost a few coaches… but fortunately we have been able to replace them with some quality guys. So, we are feeling pretty good about the foundation of the team.  But… undoubtedly, we have some serious headwinds ahead.

Obviously, with our ownership now in a state of flux we have perhaps the biggest problem a team could face anywhere and in in any league!   Finances.

As in any business – the money is going to define what we can do.  In my opinion it seems like most of the franchises in the European League of Football (ELF) have underestimated how much money it takes to operate a team.

*** (I’m not sure any teams … well, maybe the Rhein Fire and Hamburg Sea Devils break even or are a little ahead… the other fifteen teems appear to be operating in the red…. How long can that be sustained?  ***

Plus, I think the league itself has not paid out the money that was owed to the teams.  Not sure how transparent the ELF is with their finances.  Remember Seth Blatter and the FIFA (soccer) scandals in the late 90’s into the early 2000’s

We can’t possibly play next year if we don’t get this situation corrected.

But, the show must go on until … well … until it can’t.

We continue on with our plan to have a two-day minicamp capped with a February Super Bowl party in Zurich.  One problem is still – we don’t know where we can practice … but Norm Chow and I are assured that it will be handled.

Well … we have to have some trust … or faith I guess.

Norm gets after a practice schedule and planning what is going to go on when we get to Switzerland in February.

Honestly, the Guards are lucky to have Coach Chow.  He is always working on the team.  Constantly trying to create a plan for our start up-club.  It’s hard to get organized when you are literally an ocean away .. and you aren’t sure if this operation will even get off the ground and fly.

Also, a very encouraging sign … the Guards management added Dan Frey to the staff.  Dan is a very good friend who was at one time the president of the Thun Tigers.  He had a lot to do with organizing my association with the Tigers club several years ago.

So, he has experience in two of the problem areas that the Guards would have with the six import coaches and our four American players.  We need extended visas … work permits – and that ever increasing problem of housing for ten Americans and six European imports.

Again … this was my main concern way back in June of 2022.  Here we are six months later and we are still standing on “START” waiting on “GO”!  We don’t have the visas, permits or housing.

Dan knows how to get these things done.   But whether we have the finances to get it done is going to be the issue.

But, one way or another we arrange our flights into the Alps for February and place the rest of the stuff in the hands of our fractured management team.

Later in the week the club held an introductory party in Zurich for the team.  Obviously, we weren’t there but Norm put in a zoom call with the group.

Toni Zöller (acting GM) was excited with the attendance and the interaction of the players.  It sounded like everyone had a pretty good time (not sure where the money came from to pay for this extravaganza??!!)

Now, not to seem like we felt like we were on a rollercoaster ride or maybe feeling like we were “yo-yo’s” Toni tells us Mukka is coming back on board as the chief owner.  Hmmm!  We will see about that.

What…me worry! (Alfred E. Neuman!)

 

 

We get closer and closer to having 50 Swiss players on our roster for our expansion team in the European League of Football (ELF).  Our head coach Norm Chow  and I talk with the management squad and feel we have honed in on the best players we can get from our country in the Alps.

We are feeling pretty good about the Helvetic Guards franchise!

As December rolls around and we work through the first few weeks of the month …things are looking pretty good.  Players are signing and we are zeroing in on a few new coaches to fill our staff.

The guys heading up the management group wants to have a welcoming party for the team in Zurich.  Sounds like Mukka Erdönmez (primary owner) wants to get some publicity about the Guards.

He also wants to inform the players … and perhaps the media… that the US coaches would be coming to Switzerland for a minicamp and also a Super Bowl party in February.  Should be quite an extravaganza!

Well not so fast Kemosabe!

Just a few days before the party is about to take place …  our acting GM Toni Zöller asked Norm and I to join into a zoom meeting.  So, Norm and I join JC Williams, Matt Hammer, Zeki Öztürk with Toni.

Notably missing is Mukka (owner) and another investor Ferhat Kahraman (Director of Administration).

Well here comes the tidal wave of manure!

Toni … quickly gets to the crux of the matter (college phrase by the way).  Our million dollar (supposedly) owner Mukka is going to pull his money out of the franchise.  I nearly get up … not to throw up …but to get another beer out of my refrigerator. (Coors Light of course!)

Now I truly am beginning to regret pulling Norm into this (mis)adventure.  Hell … I am beginning to have some eerily similar flashbacks of the failed league I was involved with in Australia a few years ago!  What a load of BS!

Mukka was supposed to be the golden cash cow.

The guys want to know how Norm and I feel about just hanging on and seeing if we can find some new lead dog for the franchise.  Well, what the hell – it’s no skin off my teeth (seriously what does that phrase mean??).  I say I am in it til we can’t function.  (Remember I have no money invested.)

Norm agrees stay aboard as well.

So… Toni asks us to keep this between our group and not to tell anyone of our problems.  No sense in  exposing Mukka at this point.

He says he has some investors who might be ready to replace Mukka.  We all agree this is best for everyone to keep this quiet.  Why create a problem if we might be able to fix it before it becomes public?

Immediately after our zoom call ends Norm and I get on a phone call here in the US.  To say we are surprised about this occurrence would be an understatement.  We had no clue about this train coming down the track to run us over.

Aside from our trust being eroded… we were just wondering what other fallout would occur. But, we both agreed that we had nothing to lose with hanging on and seeing where the path might lead.

So… we just shut up and continued forward!

As we pushed our way into the latter part of November thru December of 2022 and into January of 2023 the Helvetic Guards roster was nicely coming together.  But unfortunately, we were losing a few coaches from our staff.  But, at the same time we had some logical answers.

Norm had contact with a friend of his … Dave Campo.  Yup, that Dave Campo – formerly the head coach of the Dallas Cowboys.  Longtime college and NFL coach.  A very good coach and also a solid guy.

So, Dave and I connected on a call.  He was looking for something to do and Europe sounded like an interesting opportunity.  I explained the situation with the Helvetic Guards and the ownership structure.  So, we agreed to talk about the situation in a few days.

In the meantime, I had a call with a friend – Greg Brown.  I’d known Greg since the 80’s.  He was with the Tampa Bay Bucs when I started in Detroit.  He is a very accomplished coach – mostly working with the defensive backs.  But, he was also a coordinator.

Greg told me he was intrigued because he had thought about going overseas for a little while.  I told him about the job and he had a definite interest.  I also told him about Dave Campo in respect to honesty.  So, he told me about his interest in remaining in coaching in college.

Well, we now had two possibilities for defensive coordinator … plus Bob Palcic had been calling about Jim Ward.  Bob had worked with Jim for a short period in Hungary.  He felt that Jim would be a great fit.

I trust Bob and I did a lot of work seeing what Jim has done as a coach.  Jim has been in Europe for a number of years as a head coach and defensive coordinator.  His resume is really good.  I’m thinking we should move in on him.

However, as per instruction by Mukka Erdönmez (out team owner) we need a defensive coach with NFL experience.  One thing about Mukka … he wants the attention and likes to be in the public eye.

So, unfortunately Jim would have to wait in the background because the first two guys in line for the job were going to be Dave Campo and Greg Brown.  As I said they were both more than capable to be the lead dog for our defense.  In fact, they are superstars on defense.

But, as all of this is going on I was trying to prod our management group into understanding there were a lot of other things that needed to be attended to.  Given Mukka loved his lists … I had one for him.

It was a long list of things that needed to be done to get the franchise ready to roll.  Many things that should have at least been discussed … but hadn’t been.  Mostly because no one in our administration had ever done anything of this scope.

I have to say that Norm told me to dial everything back a little.  He didn’t want this to turn into a acrimonious (college word for my friend Betsy) for our group.  We would have enough problems going forward.  Trust me he would be right!

 Some of my biggest concerns were down to my first several points I had made to my friends JC Williams and Matt Hammer many months ago in June of 2022.

The hardest things to get done were going to be extended visas, work permits and apartments for the coaches.  Here it was more than six months later and we still had no progress made in these area.

As I have said before … what would Alfred E. Neuman of Mad Magazine ask …”What me worry?”

Who cares if we don’t have a city for the team to work out of…no practice field…no stadium and that’s just the tip of the iceberg!

The short list of things we need.

• The six US coaches and four American players need extended visas and work permits. (This is difficult to accomplish in Switzerland.
• This same group needs housing. (Apartments are at a premium and expensive in Switzerland)
• Where will this housing be located?
• What about travel from housing to practice and games? Cars, Bus and train pass?
• Where are we going to be located …is it Zurich or is it Luzern. Or will it be elsewhere?  When will it be finalized?
• We still don’t have a practice area.

This field has to be lighted.  Need lights!  We practice at night!

We need goal posts … these are soccer fields throughout Switzerland.

Who will line the field?  (Pro hash marks.)

• Do we have equipment to line the practice field or stadium? (which we don’t have yet.)
• What about practice equipment … dummies, pads, cones, step over dummies.
• We don’t have a stadium.

We need a football scoreboard … soccer scoreboards are way different.

We need a 40 second clock as well.

Goal Posts … these are soccer stadiums.

So no practice area…no stadium – do we even have a team?

• What are the locker rooms like in the stadium. (These are soccer stadiums so the lockers are a lot smaller because of the size of the rosters.
• What about video equipment?
• Do we have cameras? People to take the practice and game day videos.
• Who will upload the video to the computer.
• MEDICAL STAFF … we need to develop and create this group of people.
• We will need to find a bus company. (Finances top get this done.)

 

Gradually the Helvetic Guards football team is coming together.  As we move forward we are seeing other teams build themselves as well.

The Wroclaw (Poland) Panthers have hired Dave Christensen and their head coach and the Paris Musketeers signed Marc Mattioli in a similar position. Other teams continue to add to their coaching staff and roster as well.

John Shoop becomes the first head coach of the Munich Ravens and longtime NFL offensive line coach joined the Fehérvár (Pronounce that one) Enthroners in Hungary as an assistant.  As we move through the year you can see more and more influence from the US.

We also add a coach.  Pete Metzelaars, a longtime NFL tight end became our TE/WR and Special Teams coach.  I had known Pete a long time and he was a welcomed addition.  In addition to being a very accomplished player (16 years as an NFL player) he has a great rapport with players.

Pete eventually became our offensive line coach in our ever-shifting coaching staff.  He was invaluable to the team.  Plus, we shared an apartment and had a hell of a time on our time together.  We traveled extensively throughout Switzerland … made a lot of friends and took in many sights.

Pete had the ignominious (college word Betsy!) distinction of playing for the Buffalo Bills with Jim Kelly in four losing Super Bowls.  When he started coaching he did get to win one with the Indianapolis Colts.  He ended his career playing with the Lions while I coached there.

We added some more players as well.  Filip Kovljenic a big offensive lineman from the Calanda Broncos along with Fabio Rothmund a linebacker from Winterthur who was playing in Germany both signed on.

We added two more linebackers … Adrian Fielder and Timmy Schürmann.  They were both Swiss tags and were playing in Germany for the German Football League champions – the Schwäbisch Hall Unicorns.  The Unicorns have been a perennial power in the GFL.

Robert and William Harvey both became members of the team as well.  I had known the Harvey family since 2017 as they played for the Swiss National Team and were players for the Thun Tigers.  Both had been in the US finishing college and agreed to become part of our roster.

One of the best catches was Nils Jonkmans as our kicker.  He would prove to be one of the best kickers in the 17 league conference.  His ‘real” job was as a doctor!  Yes, not only a proficient player … but an MD as well.

As we saw our squad begin to take shape … it was apparent that we faced a lot of problems off the field. Although since early October we had been told … “don’t worry about it”… many things still had yet to be addressed.

We formulated a list of things that needed to be attended to that had nothing to do with the roster.

Not much … if anything had been done to address these issues.

 

 

I have to drop back here for a second in regards to the Helvetic Guards of the European League of Football.  We started off on this “facebookmentary” a few months ago.

Just a reminder … this is a look back at last year and our building of a football franchise in Switzerland.  For instance, a lot of this “chapter” is about October.  BUT, it is October of 2022 … not this current October.  (Think time machine backwards!)

Flashback to October of 2022:

Well, back here in the states Norm and I continue to work closely with our counterparts in Switzerland as we put our team together.  Ninety percent of this team building has to be done by looking at Hudl videos that are basically highlight films put together by the players and forwarded to us via email.

 

…..In case you didn’t know – Hudl is a relatively inexpensive system used by most high schools, small colleges and clubs worldwide.  The major colleges and pro leagues have a much more expansive (and expensive) video system…..

 Hudl is very user friendly and is really an excellent application for clubs that have small budgets….

 

Now, personally I hate highlight videos that are put together by individual players and coaches.  I’d much rather watch a game video that has every play for you to see.  Hell, if you don’t look good on a highlight film you put together well, come on!

Even I could make myself look good on a highlight film … hmmmm …well, maybe not!

It took a little while but we started to get it together as a functioning team model.  So, now that we kind of put together a system for evaluating players with a grading scale we could actually put together our roster.

Norm devised a system to put a “grade” on each player we viewed and we all stated using it.  Norm and I in the US.  Matt and Darius in Switzerland and we started getting help from Brian Bowles in Germany.

We started to build lists position by position … really concentrating on the Swiss players who would be the bulk of our team.  After we developed our offense and defense by category we would forward the names of top players we liked to Toni Zöeller (General Manager) and Mukka Erdönmez (financial guy).

They in turn would figure out how much to pay the guys and keep things straight with the ELF salary cap.  Let those guys figure that stuff out…it was hard enough finding quality players with these “Highlight” films.

We already had Dom Liechti, a very good defensive end from Bern signed up …he was working hard to help us get more players. Much of the early ground work could be attributed to Dominik’s efforts.

Coach Chow had a sold start with two A-Tag players.  He had lined up a very good quarterback in Collin Hill and a hard-working pass rush/linebacker from USC in JR Tavaii.  Great cornerstones to build on … we also had a line on a solid corner and a speedy wide receiver for our other two A-Tag  imports.

Norm was working hard to get Swiss QB Rici Wartmann from the Winterthur Warriors.  He was really interested but was battling a shoulder injury which would eventually cause him to leave the team before we started playing.

All European Defensive End – Tim Hänni was going to sign with us.  This was a very big splash since he had played two seasons in the ELF with the Hamburg Sea Devils (one of the stronger teams in the league).

Then John Falk a fantastic linebacker would “un”retire to play for his homeland.  John (Swiss citizen) had already won a German League championship and coached as a defensive coordinator.  He would join one of his former Bern teammates Andreas Buri to start to build the linebacker position.

Things were also looking good for another Bern Grizzly linebacker Faubian Strahm as well as the Marty brothers from Zurich.  Oli (CB) and David (WR) seemed to be eager to join the squad.  Should all be solid parts for our Swiss roster.

We had also zeroed in on three European (E-tag) players.  Versatile defensive backs Maceo Beard and Chaska Perron from France and Swedish receiver Anton Jallai all appeared ready to get on the Helvetic Guard train.

At the same time all of this going on … we started to see a few cracks.  Otis Smith (one Super Bowl) our defensive coordinator and wide receiver coach Mike Wilson (four time Super Bowl champ) were wavering in committing to coach the team.

Eventually, both would decide to quit and did not sign on to the coaching bench.

Meanwhile we still did not have a practice field, a stadium or equipment for out fledgling team.  It may seem like things that should be easy to secure – trust me that isn’t the case in Switzerland!

Another vital area that I was told “not to worry about” – we still hadn’t found a pathway to extended visas and a work permits for the American coaches and import players.  Oh yeah then there was the small problem of finding apartments in a small country with limited housing.  (“Don’t worry” was beginning to ring hollow.)

For you Mad Magazine fans … think Alfred E. Neuman… “What me Worry?”

 

 

 

 

 

 

I jump on a jet to get back home to the US.  The rest of the coaches stay behind and tour Luzern and potential apartment possibilities (good luck with that – because they are extremely limited).

Norm and his family rent a car and begin to see the sights of Switzerland!

After leaving Zurich for home I realized that this new (mis)adventure would be a little more serious and complicated within the European League of Football (ELF).  I’ve watched the games and this is a serious league with the best players throughout the continent.

We now have a lot more people who are involved and especially on the coaching staff these are pretty high-level guys.  People who have all contributed to successful teams and franchises by designing offensive plays, defensive schemes.

This franchise building is going to be very challenging because there are so many unknowns.

For instance …. to this point we have no extended visas for US coaches and the four A-tag players (trust me this will be an issue, having gone through it before in Switzerland), no housing secured (I repeat this will be a lot harder than our management team thinks), No practice facility, no video equipment, no stadium (well, that’s a problem)!

Then let’s look at the very shaky front office set up.  I love the guys … but, they have no idea how this will work out.  Really inexperienced … not their fault obviously.  But, they will have to learn fast!

I keep hearing the word “professionalism” … let’s hope we can find it.

Oh yeah, most importantly … well we still haven’t signed our roster for the first version of the Helvetic Guards!

I furnished them with a list of things they should look at.  Ideas that we had put together as a coaching staff. Just common situations then would have to face.

Months later … many of these things had not even been addressed.  It’s like they lost those vital points.

Our management is young and full of energy.   But, they will have to learn fast because there are a lot of things to get done before we can even start practicing.  Obviously, the experience of the coaching staff will be invaluable … but at some point they will have to carry the load.

It will be challenging … but all good things are difficult to attain!

Well, no one said it would be easy … and no one said this would be fair.

There was no doubt that we were very excited about the results of the combine.  Both days went very well and I was very happy that everything played out pretty much the way Matt Hammer and JC Williams planned it out.

Certainly, parts didn’t turn out exactly as planned.  But, which person who was attending had ever been to an organized combine before?   No one who was watching or attending knew how it was supposed to work plus … then there was the rain … we can’t control the rain.  If you think about it, the only people who actually had attended a “real” combine were the coaches from the US.

And, we felt pretty good about the entirety of this workout!

The European coaches and players had seen and been involved with football combines.  But, not to the extent that we had.  That doesn’t mean we know everything … we don’t.  But when you sit through year after year of the NFL combine as we all have.  Well, we look at things a little differently.

But, this was certainly a very good showcase of Swiss talent.  Actually, I was proud of what I saw from the players.  The football in Switzerland has improved over the five or six years I have been in my second homeland.

The players, the coaches have continued to advance!  It’s really exciting to see.  We aren’t anywhere we need to be … but we continue forward in our small country.

Was this a perfect effort … well, no but… it was pretty damn good in my opinion.  One big problem was  this – we need to find so many more players.  That didn’t bode well for the Helvetic Guards first incursion (college word Betsy!) into the European League of Football (ELF).

Coaching is important – but the players on the team are the key to success.  Your personnel is (are) the most important part of the organization.  (You can draw all the “X’s and O’s” you want – but it takes the ability of players to make those schemes work.)

We were all  happy with the overall effort by everyone involved.  The coaches, athletes, aides … they were all on point and worked hard to make this venture successful.

In our after action meeting it was obvious that our current ownership was happy with the weekend. Matt Hammer and JC Williams should be complimented for their tireless work and their efforts.  All of us saw that this was not going to easy!

So, we did gather for one last meeting (thankfully only a few hours).

We were all happy and backslapping.

When you have this kind of “joyjacking” sometimes weird things happen.

As we continued with our meeting we addressed what our plans going forward should be.  Norm Chow – our head coach – brought up that we needed to get our Swiss players signed up and put the final touches to our roster.

Now that we had seen, or at least met with the best Swiss players we had to try and get our roster signed.  I think we all realized that this would not be easy.  We needed our primary owner (Mukka) to take the lead on this since he controlled the money and would delegate how it was parsed out in the salary cap.

Matt and JC were doing a good job – but they weren’t privy to the amount of money available.  So, how could they design contracts??   We just needed to get everyone on the same page.  We needed all hands on deck to get the Swiss players on our roster.  Norm agreed and we all agreed that we needed as much help as we could get.

But, since Mukka was the money man … he should be in charge of the contracts.

One thing Mukka also wanted to do was to get more publicity around the team.  He wanted to have a “party” or gathering for the players we had signed.  Toni – jumped on that and said we could get this done and put it out to the public.

Bob Palcic posed the question … well maybe we should have a Super Bowl party and we could all come back to Switzerland!  Nice … but in my mind I’m thinking that this is a bad idea.  (Thinking finances of bringing five or six coaches to Zurich from the US)!

Mukka jumped on this idea and said it would be a great thing to do.  We could do that and also have a “Mini-camp” the week before the SB party.

Are you shitting me???  This will cost twenty to twenty-five thousand dollars to get it done (six round trip flights, housing for six or seven days, food for the coaches, field rental for practices, miscellaneous expenses).  Well, maybe there was a lot more money than I thought!

Another Swiss vacation I guess!  (Chevy Chase … European Vacation!)

 

 

Second day of the combine starts up!

Sun is out…what a fantastic start to the day here in Switzerland.

The long and winding road (that Beatles’ song again) from Konstanz to Luzern promised a nice day.  It would certainly be muddy on the outdoor field, but the sun would make it a pleasant October day.

The US coaches are all looking forward to this day.  Our chance to work with the guys.

I’ve seen most of these coaches on the football field before … they are the very good teachers and motivators.  Looking forward to watching them have a chance to coach these eager players.  The energy from yesterday will be amplified (college word) now that we are actually playing real football.

The goal of the second day of the combine will be to actually conduct workouts for the various positions.  Norm wants each of us to spend as much time as we can with our individual groups.

He would take the QB’s and running backs, Mike the wide receivers and tight ends, Bob the offensive line.  Defensively Otis would lead our charge.

We were tasked with working the players with specific drills and also to talk to as many as possible and get a sense of who they are.  Norm gets it … the fun part about working in football is getting to know new people.

Plus, these are not only new players … but we are in an entirely different country.  Change in language, traditions and obviously a different approach to the game of football!

Unlike at the NFL Combine we don’t have the “scouting report” about the players we would be working with ahead of time.  This would be a “blind” workout.  With the exception of a few players I knew …these were unknown prospects (suspects?).

I spend a few minutes with some management guys before we really got going. They seemed excited and basically asked me for a quick assessment…I told them I thought things were going very well.  Hell…it’s football why wouldn’t it be exciting?!

Really, the previous day went better than expected in my eyes.  That fired them up … I was happy and I hoped each of them understood that this would be a great day.

We get to watch the best of the Swiss players work and compete.

Football is never perfect and it is not an exact science.  I encouraged everyone to enjoy this DNP (Damn Near Perfect) day.

It seemed that everyone was beginning to see the vision … and we were all doing our best to work on this challenging project.  Starting everything from scratch – no players, no practice field, no stadium… so much more to address.

I truly wanted everyone to enjoy the day (I know that we six coaches from the US live for this stuff)  and we needed as many people to take part as possible … get involved by talking to the players and coaches… also to revel in the sunshine (OK … maybe the word revel is going too far!)

But, really this was the beginning of a whole new chapter in Swiss football… in coaching you learn not to look for perfection because you will waste your time (especially with some of the guys we had at the tryout) just try to find effort and excellence!

In sports, you have suspects and prospects.  Almost everyone we had at the combine were suspects.  But, they were eager and excited to compete and that’s all you can ask for.  It was our job as coaches to find those few prospects running around in the mud.

Now that all of the BS meetings were over with we were finally getting down to football!   Anyone who knew football had to be very happy with the direction the combine was moving.

There were several players in particular I was looking forward to seeing work.  I thought that one linebacker in particular –  John Falk would bring a lot of energy to the defensive side of the workout.  Plus, we had identified a few young receivers who might be interesting to bring on board.

Also, there was a defensive back (a police officer) from the the Konstanz Pirates who might be a practice squad player then there was also a young linebacker – Julian Conus who I had been told about earlier.

Julian would eventually make our roster and be a big part of our special teams with the Guards.  Late in the season he also played on the defense as he showed impressive development.

I thought we were at a good place right now.  We had made a great deal of headway considering it was October.  The Guards had come a long way in a few months….  still a long way to go … but let’s build this team one step at a time.

To me – let’s look at this team building process with optimism.

Listen … I can bullshit with the best of them.  My friend John Cordova calls me “Henry Kissinger Clemons” because I can get along with pretty much anyone (Well Switzerland in my second homeland … so I am neutral – right?).

Let’s look on the bright side .. the sun was shining and we could see the mountains surrounding  Luzern. Absolutely beautiful!

Now the field was a little mucky and maybe Paul Simon’s “Slip Sliding Away” might be appropriate.  Hah … what a life!

The first day of the Helvetic Guards combine workout dawns … or emerges … with dark slate gray clouds.

As I look out the window from our really nice house in Konstanz (not sure if we are in Switzerland or Germany??) it’s raining.  Just like it has been doing for the last few days.  If we didn’t have an indoor area for the combine this could be a really shitty day.

We have a drive of two and a half hours to get to the workout.  So, we get an early start.

The distance is a danger signal … we haven’t been able to secure workout or practice areas in the Zurich area where the team is supposed to be located.  We have to travel a pretty significant distance to Emmen (outside of Luzern).

Mukka Erdonez (basically our franchise owner) says to us not to worry about the practice areas, office space, apartments and stadium in the Zurich area (Not to mention our visas).  Claiming it will be easily handled and he was working on it.  This two and a half hour inconvenience for today and tomorrow to run a combine is a one-time thing.

“Don’t worry about it … I have it under control.”

The other guys may not be worrying about it … but I am beginning think our ownership might not be telling the entire truth.  (But, countering my fears – to a man on the business side of our team – they claim Mukka has more money than God.)

Whether or not he has that kind of money will be irrelevant when he screws us in another month or so.

 Anyway, we all jam into several cars and begin the long and winding road (wow that might be a title for a song at some point??) that leads to Luzern.  I think we all get to have a snooze time during the lengthy journey.  Hopefully our driver Ferhat was awake all the way.

When we arrive at the workout site it starts to rain a little harder.  It’s good we arranged to have the school’s gymnasium.  It’s plenty big enough if we can get everything planned out.  I know Mukka is anxious about putting on a good show.

It seems to me that we might be too worried about appearance and not enough about substance.  We are here to find some ball players.  But, management is concerned about selling merchandise and making some money.  I can tell by comments made by some guys on the staff that this is concerning to them.

But, on we go!

Matt and JC do a good job of organizing the stations (actually a great job).  We have plenty of help from local coaches.  We have timers and recorders – clipboards, pens – everything we need to get it off the ground.

Now all we need to do is find some players.

As the day progresses and the drills executed as coaches we circulate and meet as many players as we can.  I know several and introduce them to different guys on the staff.  It’s a lot of fun visiting with some of the players I knew from the Swiss league ( Swiss American Football Verband or SAFV).

I made sure to get the important guys with Norm so he could see who we were dealing with.  Unfortunately, we had several guys who could not work because they were injured.  But, all would be ready when we started up in April.

You could literally feel the excitement and optimism surrounding the development of a new team to play at the highest level in Europe.

One drawback of the set-up is that we had to run the key test outside – the 40-yard dash.  Running the “40” in the rain on a slippery surface was not really conducive to judging speed.  But, that’s all we had.

For me, I got to spend time with John Falk who would be a key member of our defensive team.  He was a very solid player – once played for the German League (GFL) champions.  He had been retired for a few years and served as a defensive coordinator for the Bern Grizzlies in the Swiss league as well as the Thonon Black Panthers in France.

A very tough guy physically and also a player who really studied the game.  You could see that his intensity would make him a bigtime leader on the team.  He had a lot of ideas on what we should do as a team and the direction we should be going.

It’s pretty apparent that he’s going to have a lot of opinions about many things in regards to the team!

 

Also, had some time to sit down with Lukas Ruoss.  Lukas was a very impressive outside linebacker who played for the Rhein Fire in the ELF last season.  Although a Swiss player he played in junior college in there US and then he went on to play at Bemidji State in Minnesota.

A very impressive 6-3 and 230 pounds he was certainly confident in his abilities (he actually is now on the practice for Saskatchewan Rough Riders of the Canadian Football League [CFL]).

Now most of us have recruited Division 1 players … so you can get a feel for guys as you talk to them.  It was pretty clear to me that we weren’t going to have a really good chance of getting Ruoss.  We didn’t have the resources to make him happy and he was already playing for one of the best teams in the ELF.

He later signed again with the Fire before being brought to Canada for the Rough Riders.

I can’t blame anyone for making decisions that are good for them.  We want to get the best Swiss players obviously… but as in Ruoss’ case – why would he leave one of the contending teams in the ELF?

Anyway, it was a really well-run day by Matt and JC and the coaches they enlisted for the combine.  Well done Matt!

 

 

 

 

Well, Mukka said we still needed one more meeting the day before the combine.  Since he was the primary owner we understood that we needed to acquiesce (college word) to his wishes.  He set the time for ten or so.

Norm quickly gathered the coaching staff alone and said we would meet without the management guys at nine to get some things squared away.

Well, we got together the next morning and Norm immediately set the ground rules for our guys on the staff.  We wanted to steer the meeting in a direction with no fireworks – and we wanted it to go quickly.

So, the first thing he said was something to the effect of “guys – don’t ask any questions… it just extends the meeting time and creates opportunities for heated discussions.”  We all agreed to a man.

Let me tell you – that lasted about five minutes once the big meeting started.

Mukka got the gathering started and he wanted to talk about what we needed during the season in regards to equipment, video-taping and medical arrangements for practice.

Norm could certainly address that (plus we already had given Matt and JC a preliminary list of what we should (emphasis on should) have.  That would come down to money – which Mukka assured us was there!

Instead Otis Smith jumped in and started asking questions about the availability of tackling sleds and basic practice equipment … not to be outdone – Mike Wilson wanted to know some other stuff.

First of all – Norm asked us all to just shut-up  and let the meeting get over with and we would fix any problems later.

Otis and Mike were in a dueling contest about bullshit.

As this lengthy cross talk was taking place … Norm looked at me   … I went to the kitchen to make a cup of tea (should have put some whiskey in it).

Oh yeah Bob got involved somehow and that just added more wood to the fire.

I guess none of them heard the discussion in our coaching meeting.

We were dealing with amateurs and then we had to have some of our group just keeping senseless discussions going.  We had plenty of time to get things squared away – didn’t need to turn this into an open forum.

We worked our way through another series of “Mukka Lists” and finally got it all done.

Now I must say Mukka did take us to some wonderful dinners despite the fact that we assured him pizza or sandwiches and beer was just fine with us.

Nope!

Instead we went to some wonderful steakhouse in Konstanz, Germany.  Mukka ordered all kinds of things … broke out some special wines for Otis’ and Bob’s wives.

Although there was no Coors Light – the German beer was damn good!

Fantastic meal …. Should get us ready for the combine tomorrow!